Why would God use me?


 When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. Romans 5:6

I saw an awesome video clip last night that really made me think. God uses people who first has to hit that thick, impenetrable stonewall of hopelessness. When you’ve realized that you can’t do anything on your own, that you need God in your life because without Him, you will just fade into nothingness – that’s when He will use you.

It made me look at who He used in the Bible. Check this out:

The next time you feel like GOD can’t use you, just remember….
Noah was a drunk;
Abraham was too old;
Isaac was a daydreamer;
Jacob was a liar;
Leah was ugly;
Joseph was abused;
Moses had a stuttering problem;
Gideon was afraid;
Samson had long hair and was a womanizer;
Rahab was a prostitute;
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young;
David had an affair and was a murderer;
Elijah was suicidal;
Isaiah preached naked;
Jonah ran from God;
Naomi was a widow;
Job went bankrupt;
Peter denied Christ (3 times!);
The Disciples fell asleep while praying;
Martha worried about everything;
Mary Magdalene was promiscuous;
the Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once…
Zaccheus was too small;
Paul was too religious;
Timothy had an ulcer…..
Lazarus was dead!

I am learning that Jesus gives me endless hope. I don’t need to be perfect to be used by God, just willing. He will even make me able.

 Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important. 1 Corinthians 1:27,28

Awesome isn’t it?!

Use me Lord.

Use me Lord.

xxx much love – hesta.

So, what’s new in your life?


in with the new

in with the new

 And He who sits on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” (Revelations 21:5a)

As the old year 2013 drew it’s last breath, my sons and I were in church with thousands of others listening to this Word.

We all have bad attitudes, words and feelings. We grumble, moan and criticize the government, our bosses, the economy, the crime rate, our family members, our friends. No use trying to deny that one.

And in the spirit of new year we always want to make a resolution to try again. Good and well, and some even last to February!

But I’m not going to make resolutions in my own strength anymore. I want to make resolutions standing on God’s Word, His promises for each one of us, His strength when I can’t carry on anymore.

So here’s my new attitude:
 Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead,

14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

15 Let us therefore, as many as are perfect, have this attitude; and if in anything you have a different attitude, God will reveal that also to you;

16 however, let us keep living by that same standard to which we have attained. (Philipians 3:14-16)

New words:
1 A gentle answer turns away wrath,
But a harsh word stirs up anger.

2 The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable,
But the mouth of fools spouts folly.

4 A soothing tongue is a tree of life,
But perversion in it crushes the spirit. (Proverbs 15:1,2,4)

New feelings:
4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!

5 Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near.

6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.( Philipians 4:4-7)

And this year I’m claiming this promise of God for you and me dear friends:

11 For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.

12 Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.

13 You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.

14 I will be found by you,’ declares the LORD, (Jeremiah 29:11-14)

May you be blessed in 2014!


Bless this year

Bless this year

xxx much love – hesta.

Don’t get sucked in!

Black hole

It’s the end of the year. I don’t know about you, but to me it feels like there is a black hole in my universe trying to suck me in. I am physically, emotionally and mentally tired. So much so that I can feel the fight in me ebbing to an all time low.

What I found easy and even enjoyable to do, is now a battle. I have to battle to stay on top of my game at school and at home.

But thank God I don’t have to do it in my own strength. He said when I am weak, He will be strong. (Exo 14:14)  “The LORD will fight for you, and all you have to do is keep still.”

cross whirlpool

Do you remember the Idescribable Tour of Louis Giglio and Chris Tomlin? This picture of the cross whirlpool is the furthest galaxy that could be photographed by the Hubble Space telescope. It is such a comfort to me, knowing that at the end of me, my comprehension of God, my feelings, my abilities, my strengths and weaknesses, are God. He is the beginning and end of me. He encompass me. What am I? A puny human in the greatness of everything, yet He made me and His Spirit lives in me.

So in this dry, tired season, I can sing with Chris Tomlin and Lecrae “Awake my soul”:

Breathe on me, breath of God, breathe on me

I come alive, I’m alive when you breathe on me

Speak to me, word of God, speak to me

I come alive, I’m alive when you speak to me

Awake, awake, awake my soul,
God resurrect these bones
From death to life, through you alone
Awake my soul

Then He said to me,
Prophesy to these bones and say to them,
Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord!
This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones,
I will make breath enter you,
And you will come to life.
So I prophesied as I was commanded.
As I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound,
And the bones came together, bone to bone.
And I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them,
And skin covered them, but there was no breath in them.
Then He said to me,
Prophesy to the breath,
Prophesy, son of man, and say to it,
Conjure the four winds of breath and breathe.

Awake, awake, awake my soul,
God resurrect these bones
From death to life, through you alone
Awake my soul

Yeah, I’m not alone, I realize
I breathe out, I come alive
Your word gives life to my dry bones
Your breath tells death it can ride on
Awake me, make me a living stone,
A testament to your throne, I
I’m nothing without you, I’m on my own
The only one who satisfies my soul

So I’m not going to get sucked in, and neither are you friend. We are more than conquerors through Jesus, our Lord and Saviour.

you see the depths of my heart

Enjoy the rest of this week. There are 20 schooldays remaining for me. In 45 days it is Chrismas. New Year, 2014, is 52 days away and then we start over with a new year.

But for now, I want to try to live each day to the full, as if it is the first day of the rest of my life. Because it is.

Why do I believe in God?


I believe in God because sometimes my world is so awesome that my soul shouts out for someone to thank. Then I thank Him!

I believe in God because sometimes the mountains and sunsets and moon and clouds are so breathtakingly beautiful that I need to praise the creator of all things beautiful. Then I praise Him!

I believe in God because sometimes things happen that are completely unplanned and hurt so much! Then I feel as if no one understands, but then I remember His Hands and the Man on the cross. Then I know Someone is crying with me. It’s Him!

I believe in God because sometimes I feel so confused and my life so without meaning and my dreams look so unreachable. Then I need someone to walk this journey with me and show me the way. Then He is there!

I believe in God because sometimes I do such stupid things and sin mess up my heart and life and hurt my loved ones. Then I need Someone to forgive me and bring me wisdom and peace. Then He is there!

He makes whole everything I’ve broken.
He gives Grace even when I’ve caused all the pain myself!

I believe in God because sometimes I really don’t know anything! I need guidance and wisdom in an upside-down world that I don’t always understand. Then I read the Words He wrote in the Bible and I hear His voice and things start to make sense again.

I believe in God because I don’t ever want to be alone again or do anything or make any choice without Him.

I believe in God, in Jesus and in His Spirit because He is always there! All the time! Always!

My dearest aunt Sarah sends me inspirational messages every day. This comes from her pen…

I hope I have inspired you just a little bit today.

Why pray anyway?


I have been battling with the question for some time. Then I saw this great explanation on a church friend’s Facebook. I share it gladly in the hope that you too will understand why we should pray even if God knows everything anyway.

People say, “Well, he’s praying and praying and he’s saying ultimately God do whatever You’re going to do anyway. Why pray?” This is always the tension. I think, and I was reading this just last week, that Dr. Barnhouse had a great illustration to convey something of the relationship between our prayers and God’s sovereignty and will. Listen to what he writes.

We will suppose the case of a man who loves violin music. Okay? He has the means to buy for himself a very fine violin and he also purchases the very best radio he can buy. He builds a library of the great musical scores so that he is able to take any piece that is announced on the radio, put it on his music stand and play along with the orchestra.

The announcer says that Mr. Ormandy and the Philadelphia Orchestra are going to play Beethoven’s Seventh Symphony. The man in his home puts the symphony on his stand, tunes his violin with what he hears coming from the orchestra. The music that comes from the radio we might call foreordained. Ormandy is going to follow the score just as Beethoven wrote it. The man in his living room starts to scratch away at the first violin part.

He misses beats, he loses his place, he finds it again, he breaks a string, he stops to fix it, but the music goes on and on. He finds his place again and plays on after his fashion till the symphony is ended.

The announcer names the next work that is to be played and the fiddler puts that number on his rack. And day after day and week after week and month after month and year after year, he finds pleasure in scraping his fiddle along with the violins of the great orchestra. Their music is determined in advance. What he must do is to learn to play in their tempo, in their key and to follow the score as its been written in advance. If he decides that he wants to play “Yankee Doodle” when the orchestra is in the midst of a Brahms number, there’s going to be dissonance and discord in the man’s house. But not in the Academy of Music.

After some years of this, the man may be a rather creditable violin player and may have learned to submit himself utterly to the scores that are written and follow the program as played.

Harmony and joy come from the submission and cooperation.

Then Barnhouse says this, “So it is with the plan of God, it is rolling toward us unfolding day by day as He has planned it before the foundation of the world. There are those who fight against it and ultimately are cast into outer darkness because he will not have in His heaven those who probably resist Him. This cannot be tolerated anymore than the authorities would permit a man to bring his own violin into the Academy of Music and start to play Shostakovich when the program called for Bach. The score of God’s plan is set forth in the Bible and in the measure that I learn it, submit myself to it and lived…or seek to live in accordance with it, I shall find myself in joy and in harmony with God and His plans. If I set myself to fight against it or disagree with that which comes forth, there can be no peace in my heart and life. If in my heart I seek to play a tune that is not melody the Lord has for me, there will be nothing but dissonance.

Prayer is learning to play the same tune that the eternal God plays and to play it the way the eternal composer wrote it and meant it to be played.”

Maybe that helps you. God’s sovereignty puts out the foreordained tune to be played. Prayer is learning to play in tune. But even when we’re out of tune, it doesn’t mess up the celestial orchestra. Fortunately we hear them but they apparently don’t hear us when we’re out of line.

Clutter, what clutter?


Jon Gordon says, ‘We fill our minds with thoughts that hold us back, habits that limit us, distractions that derail us, negative people who drain us, fear that paralyses us, time-sappers that sabotage our productivity. We fill up with so many things that generate negative energy, there’s no room for positive energy in our lives.’

Paul writes, ‘…throw off your…former way of life…let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes’ (vv. 22-23 NLT).

The clutter you need to lose includes: believing that you’re alone, trying to please everybody, feeling insecure, putting yourself down, ,jumping to negative conclusions before you know the facts, thinking you’re always right, recalling all the times you messed up, needing to have all the answers, worrying that if you let go of the memorabilia you’ll lose the memories, agonising that you’re not rich, good or clever enough, surrounding yourself with people who remember the bad times and not the good, viewing life like a movie instead of participating, believing that your best days are over, always waiting for the right moment, fearing you will look foolish, focusing on negative type-casting…and anything else you don’t want to pass on to your children.

How can you get rid of the clutter? ‘…let the Spirit renew your…attitudes.’

Have a great Women’s day friends!

Xxxx hesta

xxxxx hesta



But the word is very near you, in your mouth and in your mind and in your heart, so that you can do it. See, I have set before you this day life and good, and death and evil. [If you obey the commandments of the Lord your God which] I command you today, to love the Lord your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commandments and His statutes and His ordinances, then you shall live and multiply, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land into which you go to possess. (Deut.30:14-16)

Some days I let feelings overwhelm me. Feelings of being an inadequate mother because I struggle in my relationship with my teenage son. Feelings of despair when I think too much about how much I have lost in my marriage and family. Feelings of loneliness when there is only children’s voices around me all day and I long for adult communication. Feelings can be overwhelming. Feelings put you on a slippery slope into depression – that deep dark pit where you claw at the sides but don’t get anywhere, especially not out.

But then God’s Word is like a flashlight. Its high beam focus on that verse that will bring you hope and lift your spirit.

Then you realize, feelings are fickle. You should trust what you knów.

I know I’m not alone because God said He will never leave me or forsake me. I know I will pull through this rough patch with my boy because God said His Word is like a lamp to my feet and will give me wisdom if I seek it with all my heart. I know that I have more than I need because God said He will give me the desires of my heart, more than I can dream or think of.

So that leaves me with a choice. Everyday we have to choose between life and death.

I choose life. I choose joy. I choose to believe God will work everything out to the good of those who love Him. I choose to rejoice in the Lord. I choose to live tenaciously. To hold on to every promise of God that is yeah and amen because Jesus is my Saviour and friend and brother.

For those of you who also sometimes stand on the slippery slopes of despair and depression, hold on. Choose joy! God’s promise is that His peace that surpasses all understanding will fill your heart and mind.

Enjoy the new week. May it be filled with choices for joy, love, peace.

Xxxx hesta

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